Nick Drake is my favourite musician

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I probably will post a lot of theories I have on Nick Drake, because he is my favourite musician, and such an intriguing figure.

I can’t remember the first time I heard a Nick Drake cd, but I remember buying a specials collection with a surrealist painting on the front cover. I stood in a cd shop, in front of stacks and stacks of cds, and his cd was the only one i wanted.

I think the song was hazeyjane or black eyed dog. Which i stood uncomfortably listening to in public on headphones.

There’s something about his sense of being lost, that i relate to so much. Lost but staring home right in the face.

He sees beyond what he sees, and he holds on to it with a tenacity that few can match.

To own nothing, is to have everything.

I would listen to his album while alone in my apartment studying overseas. The music calmed me, and i sank to great lows.
It wasn’t his fault though, it was already present in me.

I think it is widely thought that Nick Drake’s demise was because of his failure to become a world reknown artist during his time.

In part, but I feel that his life was a process. A process of trying to reach the end, a process he never stopped. He would try a little at first, in little ways, a song, a poem, his way of reaching the end. A way of getting it out of his system. Then an attempt with pills, slowly but surely reaching the end.

His failure to communicate what was wrong, has been debated about endlessly. The fact was, nothing was wrong with him. Perhaps he may have had a mental illness, we will never know since he was never properly diagnosed. He just saw the world through different eyes, and he paid for it dearly.

If you ask me to take a guess, i would say his death was not accidental, and it was not intentional. It is a contradiction, but that is exactly what it is. No one can survive a sense of hopelessness for that long without caving in, in some manner. I suspect he did cave in, and wanted some relief from it. I’m not sure he wanted to die, maybe he just wanted the hopelessness to end.

A black eyed dog he called at my door
The black eyed dog he called for more
A black eyed dog he knew my name
A black eyed dog he knew my name
A black eyed dog
A black eyed dog.

I’m growing old and I wanna go home
I’m growiing old and I don’t wanna know
I’m growing old and I wanna go home.

A black eyed dog he called at my door
A black eyed dog he called for more.